I can’t tell you all how many times I have heard this statement from people trying to lose weight: “I was doing so well and then I totally blew it and cheated!” And this one: “I really want to lose this weight but I just keep cheating!” And this one too: “I was doing well until I got to my ‘cheat day’ and then I lost control.” Do any of these statements sound familiar to you?
If so, then stop calling it “cheating!” Whenever we think about cheating on a diet it conjures up all kinds of awful images like hiding in the dark stuffing your face with cookies or going completely overboard at a friend’s birthday party. When we get all tangled up in these unhelpful thoughts and images they can really keep us struck and struggling. The language we use is indeed powerful. In fact, let’s take a look at the dictionary definition of “cheat:”
cheat /CHēt/ verb Act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage.
So, if you are saying that you cheated then you acted in a dishonest way in order to get the upper hand? Hmmm, that doesn’t sound right! If you are saying to people that you cheated then you aren’t being dishonest and there doesn’t really appear to be any advantage to be gained from your behaviors. This is why I prefer to use the word “treat” as opposed to “cheat.” This may just seem like squabbling over semantics but again the language we choose to use is very powerful. Let’s look at the dictionary definition of “treat:”
treat /trēt/ noun An event or item that is out of the ordinary and gives great pleasure.
Okay, now this is sounding more like our experience! Instead of conjuring up images like the word cheat does, treat tends to bring more self-compassionate images to mind such as being kind to yourself after working really hard or enjoying one of life’s little pleasures. These little treats are not something you do every day, they aren’t the norm, like the definition states they’re out of the ordinary. So, enjoy it while it lasts and then get back on your plan.
When we get all tangled up in our thoughts like “I cheated” or “I failed” or “I blew it” or “I have to start all over” and we allow these thoughts to push us around and dictate what we do then we need to ask ourselves “Is this thought in any way useful or helpful? Does this thought help me take effective action towards my health goals? Does this thought help me to be who I want to be?”
If the answer to any of those questions is “no” then choose to let go of the word cheat and allow yourself a treat every once and a while, but only if you earn it and enjoy it!
Such a helpful suggestion…. Will remember to use treat from now on….
Thank you!!!!
Thanks! There are some comforting compassionate words we should \\\”treat\\\” ourselves too. Marvel Comics rock!
Thank you, this kind of thinking will be a game changer for many of us that are working towards optimal health!
Absolutely right!!!!!!!!!!!! I sometime have a treat and still lose weight that week, because it’s a treat, I think that if people think of it as cheating they will have 5 cookies, but as a treat 1 cookie is enough and does not effect you in a negative way.
Thanks for posting this
Very positive thought process. When you tell yourself you “cheated” then you become depressed and then the downward spiral of your thought process begins to take over. I like how you say treat when you deserve and enjoy but dont over treat, splurge, because that can cause guilt. i enjoyed this article and with pass it on to others I know who can and will benefit from reading the advice.
OK, I ‘get’ the part about the semantics….really I do – and I ‘get’ that we shouldn’t dwell on our mistakes. Definitely. The idea is to ‘live and learn’. And to FORGIVE yourself because you’re HUMAN. You don’t throw it all away because you made ONE mistake. You get up and TRY AGAIN. No matter how many times you have to do that.
… BUT…!!!!
Having a ‘treat’ day while you’re on MF 5/1 plan can throw you out of ketosis. That can affect your weight loss for that week. So…..sorry, I don’t really agree with the ‘point’ I guess, of this post….because to me it’s still a MISTAKE, and it’s these are mistakes that I have to THINK ABOUT later and LEARN from, to prevent them from happening again!
So while I agree wholeheartedly about the concept of a ‘treat’ day vs. a ‘cheat’ day WHEN YOU GET TO MAINTENANCE…there’s a big difference before that. I’ve been on this plan awhile now….and I can tell you from personal experience that if I were to ‘forget’ I had a ‘treat’…..then it’s all-too-easy to “wonder” why I didn’t lose weight that week…and then….from there, to start denying the success of this program (again, forgetting entirely that I had enough carbs/fats/whatever 3 or 4 days ago to throw myself OUT of ketosis)….and ‘throw it all away’!
So sorry, Doc…I don’t agree with this. Not at all. A ‘treat’ while on the 5/1 is still a ‘cheat’, to me. It’s NOT a ‘treat’. A ‘treat’ is staying OP and ‘treating myself’ to good health. A ‘treat’ is ENJOYING my MF meals….OP….like having a great piece of fish for my L&G. THAT is a ‘treat’. Birthday parties? Birthday cake? Simple solution. I bring a MF brownie (premade) and eat THAT when everyone else is eating cake.
I NEED TO STAY OP until I reach goal. PERIOD. TREATS are out.
Once I reach goal…well, that’s another story. Hopefully I’ll be able to handle maintenance properly and I certainly plan to ‘treat’ myself once in awhile (WITHOUT referring to it as a ‘cheat’). But before then?
Absolutely NOT. I’m not going to beat myself up over it, but it IS something that will throw my weight loss off that week (and if not it
should have….because if it doesn’t that almost gives me ‘license’ to
think ‘I can get away with it’ (my inner child is very, very tricky!)….
so it’s better — for me, anyway — to ‘own up’ to it as a ‘cheat’ and
LEARN from it.
Linda Leiby
alias Catlover77