Perhaps they’re feeling guilty because you’re getting healthy and they’re not. Perhaps they don’t understand because they’ve never had weight issues and have trouble relating to how hard you’ve worked to make these changes. Perhaps they miss the old you, the one they used to get ice cream or go out for pizza with. Or maybe you’re spending more time at the gym and less time with them since you decided to lose weight.
Regardless of the reason, this type of sabotage can be difficult and often times painful. Here’s what you can do to handle this challenging situation.
So, let’s point out the obvious that things would be so much easier, nicer, and better if they would just stop sabotaging. If only they would understand, be more supportive and helpful things would be fine. Of course we can’t control others; however we can influence the behavior of others by acting on our own values. And the more we take control of our own actions, the more effectively we’ll be able to influence others.
Let’s assume I have a magic wand, and I can instantly change this person who is sabotaging you to fit your ideal. If you did have that ideal relationship…
• How would you act differently?
• What personal qualities or strengths would you like to develop or bring into that relationship?
• What sort of friend/relative/spouse/colleague would you like to be?
• How would you ideally treat the other person?
By taking control of our own actions and moving in a valued direction towards what we want to stand for in life, how we want to behave, and what sort of person we want to be, we can influence the behaviors of others and move closer to our heart’s deepest desires for how we want to spend our brief time on this earth.